BOOK REVIEW:"Why men don't listen & women can't read maps"

        Recently I finally finished reading the #1 International bestseller “Why men don’t listen & women can’t read maps” written by a married couple Allan & Barbara Pease.  Ironically enough, I got this book (as many others) from my boyfriend who also reads a lot and I was surprised when he got me a “none chic-lit” book which I usually read for leisure.

I absolutely recommend every man and women to read this book which is scientifically based but written in a way that is easy to read and based on internationally ran scientific: physiological and sociological researches conducted over couple of decades by the two authors.

“The equality of men and women is a political or moral issue;
The essential difference is a scientific one.”

Here are some of the lessons I took from reading this book and will try to apply or fun facts I will try to remember when dealing with men in my life in order to have a better communication with them.

Women have wider peripheral vision, men have tunnel vision.
This is why men are so obvious when turning around after a hot girl, in fact women look at man just as much but their vision allow them to do it without turning their head. Men needed tunnel vision in order to hunt for the food, while women developed a peripheral vision in order to notice if other animals were a threat to her home and her babies.

On long trips, men should drive at night and women drive in the day.
Researches show that women are much safer drivers but have more minor accidents; interesting fact is that these accidents happen mostly during PMS period.

Men can mentally separate their problems and put them on hold. Women can’t stop thinking about and analyzing them. A woman will verbalize a series of items out loud in random order, listing all the options and possibilities.
Male brains are highly compartmentalized and they have the ability to separate and store the information. At the end of the day, a man is able to turn off and close the drawers. The female brain doesn’t have that ability, we keep running and processing the problems round and around in our heads. In order to solve them, women talks, not with intention to find a conclusion or solve them but to discharge them. Men get confused here, because when a woman presents him with a problem – he assumes this is because she wants him to solve it.

Talking to each other & relationship rules:
  • When a man is silent, it’s easy for a woman to start feeling unloved.
  •  The first rule of talking to a man: Keep it simple! Give him only one thing at a time to think about.
  • If a woman is talking to you a lot, she likes you. If she’s not talking to you, you’re in trouble.
  • To get a man to listen, give him advance notice and provide an agenda.
  • If a woman is unhappy in her relationship, she can’t concentrate on her work. If a man is unhappy at work, he can’t focus on his relationship.
  • Women recognize when love doesn’t exist. That’s why they’re much more proactive in finishing the relationships.

At the end, it is very important to acknowledge these differences in order to be able to have a good relationship with your partner. Men want power, achievement and sex. Women want relationships, stability and love. Many of these differences we knew on subconscious level, but we really need to acknowledge them in order to understand our partner. 

Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It


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