22 May, 2009

Ouuu boy

So, here it goes...I met somebody...of course, didn't have a clue, did not want it and didn't expect it. He is not even my type! Never thought I could fall for somebody like that, and I did not, yet...but I can't stop thinking about him. There is something so cool, so hard to describe, and so normal about him. He is at the same time so strong and so vulnerable.

However, there is a catch, actually two. The first catch is that it is more wrong than right....actually it is totally wrong...so wrong I should not even talk to him anymore. Second catch is that he knows my ex, so this should be an automatic No-No... he is very like my ex, but more mature, brave and macho. He is very successful, strong, intelligent and intriguing....actually he is all my ex wanted to be but could not..hmm…that is just wird how karma works,ha?

But I should not even dare...I know I should not; I should not dare to think that something might happen here. We talked for hours, it really feels good to be around him, I am a different person now, more calm and more careful....I don't believe in love anymore...Or do I?


live from cloud nine...Kat

14 May, 2009

DRIVING them crazy

Lately I haven't been sleeping well at all. I keep thinking about things, worrying, can't forget, I wish I could erase last year and a half totally out of my memory, maybe that would help, it was all a lie anyways, mission impossible.

Tomorrow I will go where I always go when I feel like I am pushed into a corner and can't see a way out...and pray, for a miracle ...haha...

Anyways...Today I continued my driving lessons. The instructor was brave enough to stick with me. The poor thing is sweating as soon as he sees me so I decided to chit-chat with him to make him more relaxed and I gave him a nickname Zokić-Smokić, he didn't like the nickname.I was focused while driving and doing good, other than the usage of the stick, the car keeps turning off on me, I think it might be broken?!

I wore my dark brown wooden heel sandals, I did not ran over anybody so I guess I passed today’s lesson, he was relieved when I turned off the engine. I asked him what kind of car does he think would suite me, he said Formula 1. hihihihi....Silly man....

On my way home I was thinking about these cars and all. I never had much interest nor I know much about cars but I guess I should get myself one. So, I was thinking about the two pretty ones I like a lot Audi - A8 or a Porsche Boxter.

Since I need to go to one of those dealerships where they sell those I asked Google about how to go about buying car and what are the watch outs. First I jotted down some of the most important things for me to ask, so here we go:

1. Do you have this model in pink or plum purple?
2. Can you make it into automatic?
3. How many horses does it have?
4.What is the size of the trunk?
5. Does it use a lot of gas?

Porsche Boxter
1.How much does it costs to put in pink leather seats?
2. Where do I put a baby seat in a 2 seater once I decide to have babies?
3. How fast can it go?
4. What is the size of the trunk?
5. Can you make it into automatic?

Ok, this seems enough for now. I am sure they will tell me more info about the car once I decide to buy it. If you can think of additional questions please do tell, I am open for suggestions.Love status: On hold. Cannot and will not let myself fall in love. I test my feelings by asking myself would I take a bullet for my ex, since my answer was: Without thinking YES.
This is how I know it is not the time to move on. I’ll take it one step at a time.



P.S. Dog status: Roko has started a new love affair, since he is still injured and cant walk, she is coming to see him and licks his nose while he is lying in his little house all day hauling in pain. Gosh...even female animals are stupid and naive when in love.

09 May, 2009

I SPY: Warsaw, Poland.

May 9th

I came to Warsaw yesterday morning, I could totally live here its gorgeously European. I went to fancy 50th birthday party last night and met many amazing, young and very successful people who were radiant with class and very intelligent.

We (Ania, Ana and I) came home from clubbing at 5 am, the party was super wild, we danced all night long, ate wonderful food and drank pink champagne and wine, we socialized with young but worldly people and were catching up on stories since the last time we saw each other past Christmas in NYC, gosh I missed this kind of European people living in US.

May 10th

My ladies and I spent the whole day walking through beautiful historic parks, we tried to catch a duck (didn't happened, did you know that ducks can be super aggressive? Hmm...I didn't know until this weekend hihi) After the walk in the park we had lunch at this wonderful Thai restaurant and had a quality girl-business talk in one super trendy cafe which reminded me on Panera Bread with its choice of pastries and a homie warm feel and on a Starbucks with its selection of coffees and other warm beverages from all around the world. I had a peppermint mocha and a piece of chilly and cherry chocolate cake, I know it sounds as a weird combo but the cake was divine! I promise!

We are just getting ready for another night on the town, I am wearing my hot sequin dress to test it for my next monday performance. Did I mention that I am going to a dance class and have a dance performance next week? I probably did not. Well I am very excited about my performance. As it seems I am somewhat talented dancer ( so my dance teacher thinks and my body moves well, so she saids , read: I dont fall over my own leg hihihihi)
Tonight we decided to first go for a small supper and than to rock couple of the hottest Polish clubs.
More details tommorow...time to do my hair.

May 11th

We had so much fun last night, we went to couple of sexy,trendy clubs and had a great girls night out. First spot was an underground fancy club with arch shaped hallways and private rooms. We didn't feel like dancing among the bunch of people on the packed dance floor so some gentleman invited us to with a glass wall divided VIP room where there was a private party, which soon cleared out so we stayed with the DJ and some boys, smoking Hooka and drinking Moet and Dom Perignon, I had my Mojito. It was lovely.

May 13th

Dog status: Roko is still limping. That is what he gets for jumping on every female dog (for the lack of more appropriate expression), he should have not pick the engaged female dog LOL.

Driving status: Working with my 3rd instructor. I was wearing heels and by accident hit the table of the outdoor cafe , nobody was hurt, luckily. Not sure why driving instructor was so mad, gosh... Looks like I have to find yet another one. Lesson learned: do not drive in blue flower sandals EVER again, the heel wont stick down.
Note to myself: try white wedge Ann Klein heels tomorrow, they said it will be sunny.

Love status: Today something clicked in my head. I cried my last tier. I met somebody by accident. This guy is a real man. He is a very successful and attractive man.
I never met anybody like this. Its weird. I don't know what to think.

More in next post.


04 May, 2009

Letting Go

" If you love somebody and he doesn't love you back, just love the fact that he is somewhere, with someone , and that he is happy. "

I think I'll have to do just that. I am so so tired of fighting for something that doesn't seem to exist any longer, I am moving on with whatever pride I have left after a long and paintful fight, full of scars, moving on.
Everybody saids I should move on, give other guy a chance, that I deserve much better. This time I shall listen.

I took my neckless of today, for the first time in 5 months. Soulmates,ha? Nothing will pull us apart?

~You were clear today. Thank you.