07 December, 2008

Long time no blog

Long time no blog dear all! This has certainly been a long emotionally and physically draining a month and so...work, work, work and more work, but a meaningful one, I am learning quit a lot. I am actually taking a little trip to the City for the Xmass holidays, I am really going to visit my long distance boyfriend and I am extremely excited and even more scared about how I am going to feel, how brave I am going to be and if I will finally have a face to face, truth and nothing but the truth conversation with him, look at his eyes and instantly know if it will be happily ever after or a final goodbye.

I am praying and wishing for the first option to be true.The other day I finally received the rest of my winter clothes which my beautiful brazilian friend sent to me back from states, God bless her! I was so excited not to go to work in semi-spring clothes and to finally feel warm and dressed up in my last season (but very timeless and chic) skirts, dresses and hats.

I was not as excited to find out that the pantyhose I put on, had a tinny but noticeable hole on it. I noticed it right when I came down the stairs and put my coat on, I was locking the doors and I looked down, that's when I saw it.
Now, of course I could theoretically go back in and put on a new pair, but I didn't. I kept walking and had them on the whole day, pulling them and trying to make that inperfection invisible.

Now, my dear ladies, don't we all sometimes do it. Knowing something is less than perfect, flawed, broken, torn and visible, we still let it be, deceiving ourselves that it might just disappear, vanish, be gone...and nobody but us could ever possibly notice it? This is something that I realized I might be doing with my relationship sometimes. Knowing that it needs some repair, having some decisions waiting to be made, and just letting it be, hoping it will fix itself or somehow disappear, that he will miss me and come back.

Well, unfortunately, in this case a little bit of see-through nail polish just will not cut it. This is one thing I hope to do in New York, finally fix my pantyhoe.